5 sentence review of Two and a Half Men: The Straw In My Donut Hole

Season 9, Episode 23: “The Straw in my Donut Hole”

5. The best thing to happen to “Two and a Half Men” was the addition of the lovely Sophie Winkleman as Zoey, the love interest for Walden (Ashton Kutcher) and perhaps the only character on the show with any damned sense.

4. The worst thing to happen to “Two and a Half Men” was not the forced exit of Charlie Sheen, but the devolving of Alan (Jon Cryer) into a sniveling Sméagol, a greed-headed twit so loathsome he makes Sheen’s hedonistic playboy look like the moral equivalent of Superman.

3. The best and the worst were on display in “The Straw in my Donut Hole,” during which Alan suffers a minor heart attack and milks the attention of family and friends, especially Walden, who shells out big money on toys, and Alan’s girlfriend Lyndsey (a stunning Courtney Thorne-Smith) who offers extra flavor to a peach cobbler.

2. Pause, for a moment to consider the career misfortune of Thorne-Smith: She had to play lovey dovy with two of the more repulsive men on TV: Jim Belushi, who she co-starred alongside in “According to Jim,” and now Cryer, who is so twitchy he makes a person want to bathe in calamine lotion.

1. Back to “Two and A Half Men,” it’s only Zoey who sees through Alan’s ruse and puts the smack down on him in a respectable way — though her efforts aren’t quite enough to save the ninth season’s penultimate episode.

If Cortney Thorne-Smith canoodle with a wet noodle such as Jon Cryer, even pretend on “Two and A Half Men,” it gives mopes and fat guys everywhere hope to score a good-looking woman.

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