Projected 2014 New York Yankees Opening Day lineup

  1. SS: Derek Jeter.
  2. 2B: Some guy who didn’t want 10 years, $300 million.
  3. 1B: Some guy who’ll probably be hurt by mid-April.
  4. 3B: Some guy found sleeping on the No. 4 train but passed a PED test.
  5. CF: Some guy who played for Boston and you’re now forced to pretend you didn’t used to hate.
  6. LF: Some guy who is probably past his prime.
  7. RF: Some guy who is definitely past his prime.
  8. C: Some guy who always wanted to be insanely rich … er, “play for the Yankees.”
  9. DH: Some guy who won a drawing at fantasy baseball camp.

Starting pitcher: Some guy who was better when he ate a lot of Cap’n Crunch, LHP.

Closer: Some guy who isn’t Mariano Rivera, RHP.

Your takes.

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