5 sentence review of Super 8

5. “Super 8” reminds me of soda suicides we used to pour at the self-serve soda fountain at the old Four Sons in Winterset when I was a kid.

4. Soda suicides are mixtures of all fountain soda pops much the way “Super 8″ is a mix of writer-director J.J. Abrams‘ “Cloverfield” and producer Steven Spielberg‘s “Goonies,” “Jaws,” “Close Encounters Of The Third Kind” and a splash of George Romero.

3. The problem with suicides is they’re more fun to make than to drink and an Abrams-Spielberg team-up and “Cloverfield”-”Goonies” mash-up is better in theory than final product.

2. “Super 8″ certainly has the 1970s -era preteen misfit lifestyle down, but as an alien monster movie it’s a big shrug, especially since Abrams plays hide-the-monster in a style that is more annoying “Cloverfield” than artful “Jaws.”

1. The movie ends a lot like those old queasy sodas: instead of quenched thirst, one just held their nose, gulped it down in an effort to get it over with.

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“Super 8″

Time: 1 hour, 52 minutes

Rated PG-13

Genre: Science fiction-Fantasy‎

Director: J.J. Abrams

Cast: Elle Fanning, Kyle Chandler, Ron Eldard, Noah Emmerich, Gabriel Basso

Finney’s Flicks Grade: C+

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